Thursday, October 11, 2012

New Mommy Confessions - Part 2

Well, since my first New Mommy Confessions post a few weeks ago went over so well, I thought I'd spill a little more.

 Read Part 1 here.



- I cannot for the life of me remember the words to a single lullaby or nursery rhyme, yet I know all the words to "Call Me Maybe," so I sing that to Mac.  Complete with Valley girl dance moves and my hand in the shape of a phone to my ear.  He loves it and I hate myself.


- I've lost just about none of the baby weight.  It's much easier just to buy new clothes than to actually work out or diet.

- I'm still planning on doing Baby Led Weaning with Mac, but I made sweet potatoes the other night for dinner and couldn't resist smashing some up and letting him try them.  I was SO excited!  I took got everything all set up, waited for my husband to get home, had the camera out and was absolutely convinced that Mac would go nuts over them.  NO.  He hated them.  HATED is an understatement.  Like made the worst, most disgusting faces I've ever seen.  He looked at me like I was torturing him - like he was saying, "What the fuck is this shit? No, I will no eat it."  And then he threw up all over me.  I guess I deserved it.  However, I did get some good "torture" photos...coming soon to a blog near you.


- Mac's had two little "colds" already - not really sick, just dealing with a lot of snot and congestion.  Poor little guy cannot breathe with all that snot in his face.  So, what's a mom to do but suck it out.  On the advice of friends I bought the NoseFrida snot sucker.  Holy shit, this thing is so gross it's cool.  Yes, I literally suck the snot out of my kid's face.  With. My. Mouth.  And it's awesome.  Yeah, I said it.  Who is this mommy person and what has she done with the girl formerly known as Sara?

- Boobs.  Wow.  I'm not going to get into details, but post-pregnancy breastfeeding boobs are unreal.  My husband is a happy man.  I'm pretty sure he'd agree to having another couple kids just so these boobs will come back.


- My baby lives in pajamas. Yes, he has jeans and some shirts and even a pair of shoes or two, but he never wears them.  He wears jammies 99% of the time.  Preferably fleece footie jammies with monkeys or puppies or duckies on the butt.  I just can't get over the cuteness of them.  Plus, they're easy and really comfortable.  Why bother with anything else?  He's worn pants a grand total of about 3 times in his little life and they drive me nuts!  How do you keep them on?  I never realized babies don't have hips or a waist.  Plus the shirts ride up and the socks fall off.  It's a mess.  I just feel like he has the rest of his life to wear "clothes" - why start now?

- Sometimes (always), when Mac spits-up, I let the dogs clean it up off the hardwood.  So gross, yet so convenient.  I love those dogs.

- I swear having a baby makes you dumber.  This is one of those little secrets that no one tells you before you have kids.  I've talked to other moms about this and it's true!  You have a child and you will automatically lose millions of brain cells...maybe billions.  I don't exactly know, I'm too stupid to count that high.  Maybe it's months of sleep deprivation or all the Dr. Suess and baby talk, but whatever is going on here, I don't like it.  The other day I was driving to lunch and forgot where I was going.  I had to pull over on the side of the road and think about it for a minute.  And I honestly misspelled my name the other day.  MY FIRST NAME.  I put an "h" on the end of Sara.  WTF?!  I've been telling people my whole life it's "Sara without an H" and there I go messing it up.  I've heard it only gets worse the more kids you have, so I should pretty much quit my job now so I don't end up in prison for malpractice.


- I'm already buying stuff for potential, in-the-future, not-yet-in-existence Baby #2.  What?!  I know.  I couldn't help myself.  Don't tell my husband.

- Speaking of over-buying, Mac has 4 Halloween costumes.  FOUR.  For one kid, for one day.  I have a problem.

- The dogs also have multiple costumes.


Alright, your turn...spill your mommy confessions.  Go.

21 comments:

  1. Bwahaha. This is awesome. Glad to know the nosefrida gets your blessing. I have not bought it yet. But it needs to be purchased.

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  2. My confession...okay, here goes. You know how you're not supposed to leave your baby on the bed? Unattended? Ever? Well, guess what I did and guess what happened. Eli is totally fine, but seriously, what is the matter with me?? I felt HORRIBLE!! Also, glad to hear someone else never dresses their child--I've been like that with all 3. Eli just wore shoes for the very first time a few weeks ago and he's almost 8 mos!

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  3. I got soooo excited before starting BLW and in my recent post, it took all I had not to say OMG HE HATED FOOODDD I WANTED TO CRY. ;)

    They get used to it after a while. Promise!

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  4. So, my "baby" is a year old now (I don't eve want to talk about it) and she still lives in pajamas. Yep, all the other kids at daycare have actual outfits but I like her in jammies. I mean, wouldn't you prefer pajamas to actual clothes?

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  5. I cannot get over how cute he is! Sorry he hated the sweet potatoes. :( I had to laugh at his reaction. And... I love the NoseFrida. Plus I was totally able to gross my sister out with it over the holidays last year- lol. The things you're willing to do when you're a mom. :)

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  6. I need to get some dogs so that they can clean up the food mess that my son throws onto the floor. The dumb and dumber part- oy! I go through that too and wonder when if at all it will get better.

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  7. No mommy confession but a confession from a girl that recently bought a XMas stocking for a boy and yet we DONT have kids! It's the first time EVER that I have bought anything for an unborn kid WTF is wrong with me!?! LOl

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  8. Not a mommy, so no confessions from me, but when I discovered my niece and nephew (5 and 3) knew the words to Call Me Maybe, I started making them watch the Cookie Monster version Share it Maybe instead - thinking I could switch their focus from dating to cookies....

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  9. You crack me up. Misspelled your own name? Priceless!

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  10. Oh my gosh. Haha..I love these confessions. I might have to steal this idea in awhile ;)
    As for a prego confession...one of the first things I was excited about was actually having boobs. They have NOT gotten ANY bigger.

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  11. Love these...you seriously crack me up!

    Confession...I make all my own food & got all excited for Elyse to try sweet potatoes the first time. she HATED them, & also hates pureed green beans...so I may have just given her the green beans I fix for us, complete with bacon! and of course she loves them now!

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  12. love these! good things to know for when our little boy arrives in january.

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  13. I LOVE these and your honesty- I'm seriously going to bookmark them for when I finally have kids so I won't feel bad about myself when I'm mom :)

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  14. OMG, you crack me up and I can relate to 99% of this! I sing Call me Maybe all the time and think about how ridiculous that is. And I agree...it's WAAAAAAY easier to buy bigger clothes than worry about the weight. But I do agree that PP boobs are awesome! I never want them to go away!

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  15. PS...have you bought mac an exersaucer? I see he's in the jumping thing...does he like it?

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  16. Love this!! And I just bought all new clothes too ;) Luckily, after quitting breastfeeding, almost all of it came off with NO effort! xo

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  17. - My 1yr old cousin often hums the tune of “Sexy & I Know It”. Don’t feel bad.
    - I’ve already declared that when we have a kid, he/she will LIVE in feetie-pajamas.
    - My cousin flipped when her newborn yakked breast milk on our the hardwood floors in our new house. Dude, that’s what polyurethane is FOR, right??
    - This kid is awesome. I can’t wait to see the sweet potato face pics.
    - These posts rule – more please! ;)

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  18. I can't believe you like your BF boobs. I HATE mine. HATE. My husband on the other hand loves them. I can't wait for them to go away!

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  19. this is all very funny and very true! i also let my dog lick up spit up breast milk...

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  20. oh my gosh too funny! i wish my dog would lick up c's spilled milk- she only likes to lick his face! and i know what you mean about being dumber... right after i had C someone commented on a post all mad because i typed baby's instead of babies..("don't you know baby's is possesive!")...... if i could have stuck my hand into the computer and strangled them i probably would have. don't you know the last thing on a new mom's mind is grammar. :)

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  21. Just got your darling email and I had to come back and read these posts because they are so full of PURE AWESOME.

    I let my dog lick up the spit ups off the floor. I don't wash the paci's unless they have dog hair and then I wipe it off too. I don't know any nursery rhymes so I rely on Pandora "lullaby" channel on my iPhone to do the signing. I hate my "mommy" voice too! Agh so annoying! And shoudln't I refer to Matt as my husband or Matt instead of forever calling him Daddy now? Eww/annoying! HA! I cannot kick the baby weight and just went back to WW two weeks ago. It started working and then boom back up. Guess I need to give up the booze, but isn't that what the damn flex points are for? AGH!

    OK I'll save the rest of mine for your kindest blog invitation. SO. MUCH. FUN. yayeee!

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