Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Things to Come

You guys, I have a secret to tell you.  I have TWO friends right now that are pregnant.  Two friends that have gone through hell and back dealing with infertility and IVF and are now expecting their first babies.  Two friends that desperately wanted a child and tried and prayed and begged for a baby and now their dreams are finally coming true.  Two friends that put their bodies through the ringer, their lives on hold and their faith to the test and never gave up.  Two friends that are now on the other side of infertility and will be stronger and better for it - even though they might not realize it yet.  Neither of them is far enough along that they're telling the world, but they've let me in on their little secret and I couldn't be happier.  (You know who you are.)

I don't think anyone can truly ever describe the heartache, pain and insecurity you feel when you're dealing with infertility and I am not going to try.  Like so many have said before, it's something you have to go through in order to really understand it.  And while it's not anything I'd ever want anyone to go through, I am forever grateful that I had the love, support and camaraderie of other women dealing with similar experiences.  Particularly these two women.  They listened to me whine, let me cry, held my hand and prayed for me.  I am so honored to call them both friends and so proud of them for being so strong and gracious through this struggle.

Someday I hope to be able to write about my battle with infertility and what we went through to finally get the little guy that dominates the content of this blog.  But right now it's still too fresh, too personal, too painful.    I don't have the right words and I'm too scared of being judged to put it all out there.  And as much as I don't want to think about it, my struggle may not be over.  My story isn't unique and it isn't nearly as long and difficult as many people I know, but it changed me.  It made me more appreciative, more empathetic, more patient, more humble, more faithful.  It made me the person, the friend, the wife, and the mother that I am today and for that, I'll forever be grateful.  I don't necessarily believe that every thing happens for a reason, but I do believe this experience taught me lessons that I needed to learn before becoming a mother.  And if I have to start all over and go through it again, I will.  Because it's worth it all.

I know there are many people out there that are battling infertility right now.  Some of them may even be reading this blog.  I wish I had magic words to say to them to help them through this, but I know from experience that there's nothing anyone can say or do to really ease the pain.  For me, I think the only thing that would have been nice to hear is: "You're amazing and stronger than you realize and just keep at it."    Maybe this post will serve as a little inspiration, give a little hope, renew some faith.  Because miracles really do happen...sometimes they just take a long time.  

21 comments:

  1. You're amazing and so is your little guy! Still love reading along even though I may not comment all the time since I read in my reader while nursing most of the time! ;)

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  2. So amazing - we're definitely not ready for kids, but I just got told by my OBGYN that when the time comes, I will definitely have to do IVF in order to get pregnant. It's just a scary place to be at knowing that when we're ready it's not going to be so easy.

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  3. Sara, I have always known you to be compassionate and insightful when it comes to the struggle of others. I hope that one day you share your story so that you can strengthen the will and patience of those still waiting on the other side.

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  4. I can't imagine what you and your two friends have gone through. I didn't have to go through IVF, but I was already frustrated when after we started trying, it didn't happen right away. To wait month after month for a positive test was excruciating, and I only had to wait 3 months! I now see how just lucky we were.

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  5. I know you went through a hard time. When you feel up to it, don't be afraid to share, and if you never do - well that's fine too. Writing a blog doesn't mean it's constantly open season on your life. Whatever your decision - there'll be no "judging" from this side. Screw that noise. ;)

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  6. I am thrilled thrilled thrilled for your friends!!! What absolutely wonderful news. :) And I do hope that you will share your story some day. It can be very healing to externalize it and share with others, at least I know it has been for me. Big hugs to you.

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  7. That is so exciting for your two friends that are pregnant!! It gives us all hope! Thanks for your post.

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  8. I love you. I love this post. I am so proud of you for all that you've done and the amazing mother you are. And Mac is the bestest ever!!

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  9. I never knew you battled with infertility, a girl I know did as well and it was so heartbreaking to hear what she went through. Baby Mac is all the more special(I didn't think he could be any more special!) and much more of a miracle in that case :)

    Congratulations to your friends - so, so exciting!!

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  10. Thank you for this post. As someone who has been struggling with getting pregnant but not quite enough to get any answers yet, this post and this line " Because miracles really do happen...sometimes they just take a long time" make me realize that our time will come.

    Congrats on baby Mac. He is just the cutest!

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  11. Love you and love your little family!

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  12. what a great post...God certainly is in the business of miracles, even if it's on his time and not our own!

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  13. You wrote this so well! It's so difficult to go through infertility problems especially when it comes easy for so many. I truly think when you have to deal with infertility it makes you a much stronger person, a better mommy and helps you appreciate the small stuff! Congrats to your friends, what an exciting time for them:)

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  14. Great post, Sara! Our little IVF baby is due in less than 10 days :)

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  15. Miracles do happen... sometimes they just take some time.

    I love that.

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  16. I can't imagine what women go through when dealing with infertility. I'm glad when I hear that people can overcome it and get their little bundle of joys.

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  17. What a great post... here's a big hug to one of my fellow infertility gals. You show us all that good things do come to those who wait! xoxoxo

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  18. I don't often comment, but I had to on this beautiful post. It couldn't have come at a better time, I need all the positive thoughts surrounding infertility as I can get. We are doing out embryo transfer tomorrow ... And I'm kind of freaking out about it a little. Thanks for helping me to believe just a little more.

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  19. What a nice post and how great for your friends. It's not an easy journey for all of us, so when we get there, it makes such a difference. And it's comforting to know you're not alone.

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  20. I have a friend who is struggling with infertility and it absolutely breaks my heart. I think you and your friends have been rewarded with your patience and perseverance with those precious babies. Prayers to you all!! <3

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  21. Wonderful news for your friends!

    Love this post. I am changed because of my experience, and as shitty as it was, I know that it happened for a reason.

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